;; archived

a posting from my old blog that no longer exists.

Clinton's Handyman Service

So it starts out with me hitchhiking out of Westbank about two weeks ago. As i have found out in the past six or so months since I have been doing the commute from Katherines house in Westbank to Summerland, that it is a lot easier to get to Westbank from Summerland than it is to get picked up in Westbank to Summerland, not the case today. I sat at the regular sign I normally sit at and waited for my ride. About twenty minutes into my wait a older red Caravan picked me up. Once i get into the van the driver sits and doesn't leave for a couple seconds because he is pouring his work glove full of golder then all sweet fuckin jewelry out on his lap. This haggard dude was tricked out.

Me and the driver get into the regular hitch-hiker conversation, but not for long. See there is all sorts of people that pick up hitch hikers, but one of the most common picker uppers is the one that only picks you up to talk to you about how cool they are and how rich they are. I later on found out that the drivers name is Johnny "but everyone calls me Johnny Rotten". He then gets into what he does (note the ride from Westbank to Summerland is about 20-25 minutes give or take.) Johnny runs his own business and hes very proud of what he does and from what i could see did a decent job at it. His business was called "Johnny Rottens Handyman- It's all good in the hood". After a little more bullshit talking of how i should become a jigalo and how hes been a millionaire so many times its stupid and how he ran the grow op in the big ass Peachland castle but got out of jail because he ran from the cops I kind of realized this guy wasn't someone i should be taking advise from. BUT he is who led me to the idea of starting a little some something of my own, so here's what i came up with.

Clinton's Handyman Service

"It ain't perfect, but its cheap as fuck, and it gets er' done." I mean i figure there is no point in beating around in the bushes. If someone needs something done and doesn't want to do it themselves then I'm their man. So from this day forward if you need:

Yard Maintenance
A Bike Stolen
House Painted
An Annoying Neighborhood Animal Go Missing
Party Clean Up
Moving Out An Unwanted Roommate
Mediocre Carpentry
Dangerous Electrical Work
and Tree Trimming

Then give me a holler at 494 7995 and well see what kind of shit i can take care of
Flat rate of 24 beer 15 dollars and hour after that.
Its my guarantee that it will get er done
and if not its free
(except for the flat rate 24)
LOVE YEAH